“Wait…you’re not still running that book club you started in high school, are you?”
Gia Rossi had been shopping at her local grocer when her sister called. “I’ve never really stopped. Not completely.” She switched her phone to her other ear, so she could use her more dexterous left hand to steer her empty shopping cart across the parking lot to the reclamation point.
“Most of the members weren’t your friends. They were just people who blindly followed you no matter what you did,” her sister pointed out drily.
Was there a hint of jealousy in that response? Margaret, who’d been known as Maggie when they were kids but now called herself a more distinguished Margot, was only thirteen months younger than Gia, so just one year behind her in school. Margot hadn’t been nearly as popular—but it was because she’d never done anything exciting. She’d been part of the academic group, too busy excelling to be going out having fun.
“A few of them were close friends,” Gia insisted. “Ruth, Sammie and a handful of others are still in the book club with me, and we rotate picking a read.”
“Seriously? It’s been seventeen years since you graduated. I thought you left them and everything else behind when you dropped out of college and took off for Alaska.”
Her sister never would’ve done something that reckless, that impulsive—or that ill-advised. Gia had walked away from a volleyball scholarship at the University of Iowa, which was part of the reason her family had freaked out. But she was glad she’d made that decision. She treasured the memories of freewheeling her way through life in her twenties, learning everything she could while working on crabbing and fishing boats and for various sightseeing companies. She wouldn’t have the business she owned now, with a partner, if not for that experience. “No. We fell off for a bit, then we went back to it, then we fell off again, and now we meet on Zoom to discuss the book we’re reading on the fourth Thursday of every month.” She lowered her voice for emphasis. “And, of course, we make sure it’s the most scandalous book we can find.”
Margot had never approved of the book group or anything else Gia did—and that hadn’t changed over the years, which was why Gia couldn’t resist needling her.
“I’m sure you do,” Margot said, but she didn’t react beyond a slightly sour tone. She’d grown adept at avoiding the kind of arguments that used to flare up between them, despite Gia sometimes baiting her. “So seven or eight out of what…about sixty are active again?”
“For one month out of the year, the ratio’s quite a bit better than that,” she said as the shopping cart clanged home, making her feel secure enough to walk away from it. “The rest of the group gets together for an online Christmas party in December.”
“How many people come to that?”
Margot sounded as if she felt left out, but she’d never shown any interest in the book group. “Probably fifteen or twenty, but it’s not always the same fifteen or twenty.” She opened the door to her red Tesla Model 3, which signaled the computer to start the heater—something she was grateful for since she hadn’t worn a heavy enough coat for the brisk October morning. Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, didn’t usually turn this cold until November or December.
The car’s Bluetooth picked up the call as Margot asked, “Why haven’t you ever mentioned it?”
Now that they lived thirteen hundred miles apart, there were a lot of things she didn’t tell her sister. It wasn’t until she’d left her hometown behind that she’d felt she could live a truly authentic life—one without the constant unfavorable comparisons to her “perfect” sibling.
But that wasn’t why she hadn’t mentioned the book group. She’d assumed her sister wouldn’t want to hear about it. Margot had been mortified when Gia challenged the gaggle of well-meaning but misguided women from the PTA who’d descended on Room 23 on Back-to-School Night, insisting Mr. Hart, head of the English department, drop The Catcher in the Rye, The Outsiders and The Handmaid’s Tale from the Honors English reading list. Gia had expected her favorite teacher to stand up for the books she loved by explaining why they were so important. She’d known how much he’d loved those books, too. Instead, just to avoid a fight, he’d caved in immediately, which was what had incited her to start a club that championed the books they’d targeted—as well as others.
That was the first time Mr. Hart had let her down, but it wouldn’t be the last. “If you’d ever joined the club, you’d be on the email list,” she said as she backed out of the parking space.
“I would’ve, but you know me. I don’t really read.”
Her sister would not have joined. The Banned Books Club was far too controversial for Margot. It would’ve required a bit of rebellion—something she seemed incapable of. And maybe she didn’t read much fiction, but Gia knew her to consume the occasional self-help tome. That was probably how she reassured herself she was still the best person she knew, because if there was anyone who didn’t need a self-help book, it was Margot. Their parents’ expectations were more than enough to create her boundaries.
“You should try reading along with us now and then. It might broaden your horizons.” As good as Margot was, she had a mind like a steel trap—one that was always closed, especially when faced with any information that challenged what she already believed. She lived inside a bubble of confirmation bias; the only facts and ideas that could permeate it were those that supported her world view.
“I’m happy with my horizons being right where they are, thank you.”
“You don’t see the limitations?”
“Are you trying to offend me?” she asked.
Gia bit back a sigh. That was the difference between them. Margot would sacrifice anything to maintain her position as their parents’ favorite child, to gain the approval of others, especially her husband, and be admired by the community at large. Growing up, she’d kept her room tidy, gotten straight As and played the piano in church. And these days, she was a stay-at-home mom with two children, someone who made a “hot dish”—what most people outside the Midwest would call a casserole—for any neighbor, friend or acquaintance who might be having surgery or suffering some kind of setback.
Her conventionalism was—in certain ways—something to be admired. As the black sheep of the family, Gia knew better than to try to compete with Margot. That wasn’t possible for someone who couldn’t take anything at face value. She had to question rules, challenge authority and play devil’s advocate at almost every opportunity, which was why she was surprised that her sister had been trying, for the past two weeks, to convince her to come home for the winter. Their mother’s health had been declining since she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was at stage four before they discovered it, and the doctors had done what they could, but Ida hadn’t responded to treatment. Margot claimed their mother wasn’t going to last much longer, that Gia should spend a few months with her before it was too late. But Gia was surprised Margot would risk the peace and contentment they all seemed to enjoy without her.
Gia wasn’t sure she could go back to the same family dynamic she found so damaging, regardless. She and her business partner ran a helicopter sightseeing company for tourists and flew hunters and fishermen in and out of the remote wilderness—but Backcountry Adventures was closed during the coldest months, from November to February. She would soon have the time off, so getting away from work wouldn’t be a problem. It was more that when she was in Wakefield, the walls seemed to close in around her. It simply got too damn hard to breathe. “Fine,” she grumbled. “Don’t answer that question. But speaking of limitations, how’s Sheldon?”
“Seriously, Gia? I’m going to assume you didn’t mean to ask about him in that way,” her sister stated flatly.
There was no love lost between Gia and her brother-in-law. She hated the way he controlled Margot, how he could spend money on hunting or fishing or buying a new camper, but her sister had to scrape and bow for a new pair of jeans. Margot explained it was because he earned all the money, that he was trying to be a good “manager” by giving her such a tight budget so the business would be successful and they’d have money to retire in old age, but to Gia, it seemed that Margot was making all the sacrifices. Stingy was stingy, and yet he was the one who wanted Margot at home, waiting for him with a hot meal at the end of the day. Their boys, Matthew and Greydon, were eight and six, both in school. Margot could work part-time, at least, establish something of her own, if Sheldon wasn’t calling all the shots.
“It was a joke.” Gia really didn’t want to cause problems in her sister’s marriage. Margot insisted she was happy, although if that were her life, Gia probably would’ve grabbed her kids and stormed out of the house—for good—long ago.
“He’s doing great. He’s been busy.”
“It’s deer hunting season. I assume he’s going.”
“Next week.”
And what will you do—stay home and take care of the kids and the house while he’s gone? Gia wanted to ask, but this time she managed to bite her tongue. “He’s going to Utah again?”
“Yeah. They go there every year. One of his buddies grew up in Moab.”
“Last winter, Sheldon’s business slowed down a bit, so I’m surprised to hear you say he’s been busy.”
“That was the economy in general. All trucking companies took a hit. I don’t think the same thing’s going to happen this year, though. He just bought two new semis and is hiring more drivers.”
“He’s quite the businessman.” Gia rolled her eyes at her own words. He hadn’t built the trucking business; he’d inherited it from his parents, who remained heavily involved, which was probably what saved it from ruin. But thankfully, Margot seemed to take her words at face value.
“I’m proud of him.”
He was proud of himself, could never stop talking about his company, his toys, his prowess at hunting or four-wheeling or any other “manly” pursuit. Gia was willing to bet she could out-hunt him if she really wanted to, but the only kind of shots she was willing to take were with her camera.
Still, she was glad, in a way, that her sister could buy into the delusion that Sheldon was a prize catch. “That’s what matters,” she said as she pulled into the drive of her two-bedroom condo overlooking Mill River. The conversation was winding down. She’d already asked about the boys while she was in the grocery store—they were healthy and happy. She was going to have to ask about Ida before the conversation ended, so she figured she might as well get it over with. “And how are Mom and Dad?”
Her sister’s voice dropped an octave, at least. “That’s actually why I called…”
Gia couldn’t help but tense; it felt like acid was eating a hole in her stomach. “Mom’s taken a turn for the worse?”
“She’s getting weaker every day, G. I—I really think you should come home.”
Closing her eyes, Gia allowed her head to fall back against the seat. Margot couldn’t understand why Gia would resist. But she’d never been able to see anything from Gia’s perspective.
“G?” her sister prompted.
Gia drew a deep breath. She could leave Idaho a few weeks before they closed the business. Eric would cover for her. She’d worked two entire months for him when his daughter was born. She had the money, too. There was no good excuse not to return and support her family as much as possible—and if this was the end, say goodbye to her mother. But Gia knew that would mean dealing with everything she’d left behind.
“You still there?”
Gathering her resolve, Gia climbed out of the car. “Sorry. My Bluetooth cut out.”
“Did you hear me? Is there any chance you’d consider coming home, if only for a few weeks?”
Gia didn’t see that she had any choice. She’d never forgive herself if her mother died and she hadn’t done all she could to put things right between them. She wished she could continue procrastinating her visit. But the cancer made it impossible. “Of course. Just…just as soon as I finish up a few things around here.”
“How long will that take you?”
“Only a day or two.”
“Thank God,” her sister said with enough relief that Gia knew she couldn’t back out now.
What was going on? Why would having her in Wakefield matter so much to Margot?
“I’ll pick you up from the airport,” her sister continued. “Just tell me when you get in.”
“I’ll get back to you as soon as I’ve made the arrangements.”
